Machines vs Trees, Round 1

Machines hate trees. Trees hate machines. No one remembers how it started. But this is where it ends.

When you think about trees, the first thing you probably think about is destruction. Especially destroying machines.

Yeah, that was pretty metal.

But when you think about machines, the first thing you probably think about is revenge.

Based on these metal detector readings, I don’t think we’ll be able to solve this the same way we did the last one.

Let’s see what else trees have going for them. As you know, many trees are religious.

christmas trees silar

Hold on. What? There something metal about that? Is this thing working right? I’m going to check it again.

Votive_tree_cappadocia Shakko FINAL

So, I guess you can use trees to hang wards against the evil eye on in a desert. I can sort of see how that’s metal. But no way that’s going to out-metal machines, especially, you know, considering what machines are usually made of? Trees, where are you going with this?

The_Fall_of_Man_by_Lukas_Cranach FINAL

Now you’re talkin’. Machines have something to worry about here. But the real question may simply be: who’s side is metal really on? Yeah, you can see where I’m headed.

I saw a lot of things in that video, and I’m not sure what all of them were, but I did not see or hear Jesse James Dupree playing a tree as an instrument.

Sorry trees, you made a strong case, but . . . pardon, what’s that?

The_tree_of_death,_the_sinner,_lithography,_ca._1845 FINAL

Oh. Well, all right. In case it’s not obvious at this distance, go ahead and click that image to get a closer look at how metal it was to be a tree in classic 19th century lithography. Sometimes I worry about those people. Note volcano, lightning and evil.

But if trees are really that metal, then that means…

machines vs trees verdict

A tie? That’s . . . that’s never happened before. The liquid hate in the metal detector is frothing out control. Maybe this titanic struggle won’t be over as quickly as I hoped. I don’t believe reality can really be metal enough for both machines and trees. There will be a reckoning.

Since the metal detector is a scientifically objective instrument that has nothing to do with my personal opinions, it can’t do anything without evidence. Your evidence. Whatever you know about machines or trees that could help resolve this grinding stalemate, make sure you send it my way.

In the mean time, make sure you tune in next week, when my brother will be here to wreck the joint.


Thanks to Simone Scalici for inadvertently suggesting this post.

Terminator photo by Dick Thomas Johnson.

Christmas trees by Silar.

Tree with nazzars by Shakko.

Images used under Creative Commons License.

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